


Dead And Gone

by fangirlingovermishacollins



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, Crying Castiel (Supernatural), Crying Dean Winchester, I'm Sorry Castiel (Supernatural), Kissing, M/M, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25113061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlingovermishacollins/pseuds/fangirlingovermishacollins
Summary: Dean has to watch the person he loves die in his arms.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Dead And Gone

**Author's Note:**

> I have a few things to say.
> 
> First: I hate myself for writing this. I can barely stand it watching my favorite characters get hurt without adding death to the equation.
> 
> Second: I already know I'm evil. There's no need to say it. I fully own up to the fact that I wrote this with nothing influencing my judgement. This was all me.
> 
> Third: I'm so very extremely sorry. I'm going to have to forgive myself for this one. 
> 
> I would say I hope you enjoy, but that's probably the wrong thing to say to you guys when I wrote what I did, so I guess... I hope you don't send me death threats? I have no idea honestly!

The angel blade didn't have to be touched to go in deeper. One almost-lazy motion from Chuck's pointing finger and the blade twisted in response. Dean held Cas close, as if proximity and sheer force of will was enough to save the angel's life.

Dean's hands were slick with blood. Cas's blood, because the guy decided to stand up to his father, not thinking about anything else besides Dean's safety and keeping Dean from getting hurt. At least Sammy wasn't with them, right? If he were, Chuck would have more to hold over Dean. 

The hunter chastised himself. He couldn't be thinking of silver linings when Cas was dying slowly, right there in his arms. At least he didn't sound like he was in pain. Still, the look on his face gave it all away. "Is this funny to you, you son of a bitch?" Dean yelled at Chuck. 

"Eh, I don't really care either way," Chuck said, shrugging. "But it's what I wrote, so he has to die. You get it, right?"

"Screw you, damn it!" Dean forced himself to ignore the burning desire he had to kill Chuck where he stood. He looked down and into Cas's blue eyes. "You'll be okay, yeah? I promise, you aren't dying here, Cas," he insisted, sounding desperate even to himself.

"That's nice, Dean," Cas said, smiling through the pain of being slowly stabbed to death by his own father. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you, damn it! For everything you did. But I'll never forgive you if you die like this. I... I need you, you feathered dumbass." Dean's voice broke and he knew he was going to cry. "I need you so damn much, you have no idea, but I do." He rested a hand on the side of Cas's face. "You're my-"

"Dean," Cas said soothingly. Of course Cas would be comforting Dean while being killed, Dean thought. Of freaking course. "I know. I've known-" Cas grimaced, eyes squeezing shut, and Dean's vision got blurry. "-the whole time." He offered a small, pained smile before drawing in a sharp breath. 

"Then you won't leave me, right? Right?! You know that I want you, _need_ you more than anything." Dean didn't look away from Cas's face, trying to commit everything about the angel to memory: his perfect pink lips that looked chapped, but were probably so soft. His eyes, which were the most beautiful shade of blue Dean had ever seen, and were now gazing at Dean with obvious adoration. His dark hair that Dean wanted to run his fingers through while pulling Cas close, closer than before, so he could kiss him at least once.

Cas's hand covered Dean's where it was holding his face. "I would never willingly leave you," he said. He kept his hand in place even as his blood touched it. "Even in death, I'll find my way back to you." Dean could only manage a small, fake smile and nod.

"Don't talk about death," Dean urged him, flipping over his hand so that he was holding Cas's. "Your hand's shaking," he said, grip tightening. "You've got me, angel, you've got me, yeah?"

Without thinking, Dean lowered his head so that their foreheads touched. "I'm all yours, Cas," he whispered. "Always was, really."

"Dean," Cas whispered back, shifting in the hunter's arms. "I-"

Dean didn't even think before he pressed their lips together. Cas didn't pull away, in fact he kissed Dean back urgently.

When Dean had imagined kissing the angel before, he imagined it leading to his bedroom with a trail of discarded clothing following them. Now, however, Dean knew that this kiss-- this kiss with no tongue and no sexual motives, this perfectly innocent and genuine kiss-- was better than anything he could have pictured in his head. 

And it would never be enough. Dean would never get enough of this, now that he knew he could have it. Why did it have to happen now? Why had he and Cas been so afraid when it had been so obvious the whole time? Dean loved Cas, and he knew that the angel, _his_ angel, loved him right back. 

The sound of slow clapping shattered the moment. "So cute! It sure took you guys long enough." 

Dean's anger came rushing back. He had no doubt he looked like a mess: tear-stained cheeks, kiss-swollen lips, and fire in his eyes. "You're going to pay for this," he growled. "Why the hell'd you even write this crap, huh? After every damn time you killed him already, you're ending it now?!"

"Believe it or not, Dean, I do love Castiel's character. He's been through so much, and the character development! It was amazing, really." Chuck smiled as if nothing was wrong. "Don't you agree?"

"Cas isn't just a character, _God_. He's the best damn thing that's ever happened to me, damn it!" Dean looked down at Cas. He was still hanging in there, but he looked so weak, it broke Dean's heart. The angel squeezed Dean's hand, a gesture that was meant to be comforting; to some degree it was. But it was also a painful reminder of the fact that he was dying, yet was only worried for Dean. He was just that kind of guy.

"I can't rewrite the story," Chuck said, at least having the decency to look sorry, even if it was fake. With a snap of his fingers, the angel blade was gone. "He doesn't have a lot of time left." He looked at where Dean was covering the stab wound in a hopeless attempt to save the angel. "There's nothing you can do. He'll bleed out, Dean." 

"Save him." To anyone else, the threat would have been enough. But for Chuck, who had greater power than anything the Winchesters had ever hunted and killed, it just bounced off of him. He sighed, shaking his head like a parent telling their child no.

"Tell him, Castiel. He can't do anything." Chuck looked down at Cas. Dean held him closer, shielding him with his body. An asshole like Chuck had no right to even look in the direction of Dean's dying angel. 

Cas didn't look at his father. Instead, his blue eyes pleaded with Dean, already resigned to the fact that he was going to die soon. "He's right. I'm so sorry." He sounded a little better without the angel blade inside of him, but it didn't make a big difference, really. Cas shut his eyes and when he opened them a second later, they were welling up. 

Dean didn't look away from Cas, even when Chuck left. He took a shaky breath. "I'm going to kill his ass," he promised Cas. "I hate him so freaking much, angel."

"I know," Cas said. Dean wiped the tears from Cas's face with the back of his hand. They mixed with the blood on Dean's skin. 

For a few seconds Dean shut his eyes, and he only opened them when Cas said in a reverent whisper, "I love you."

"Should have told me sooner," Dean said with a forced chuckle. "I knew, though, Cas, and I love you too, okay?"

Cas only managed a nod. He used all of his energy to lift his head. Wordlessly, he leaned in again, and Dean met him halfway. There was something about this moment and Dean knew he'd remember it for the rest of his life. His hand, holding the back of Cas's head with his fingers stroking his dark hair; the desperation of the moment making him pull Cas closer, closer, until nothing was between them, not even light; the kiss so tender and sweet that Dean teared up all over again as their lips met. 

When Cas went limp in his arms, Dean wanted to scream. Of course he died during a kiss, of course Dean had to feel the moment he died. His fists clenched at his sides after he gently laid Cas down. Looking down at him through his tears, Dean noticed that in death, he looked almost peaceful. He could have been sleeping if it weren't for the blood pooling around him and the black wings on either side of his body. 

Dean knew it was close to impossible. He couldn't just kill God, Amara would have to die too to keep the balance. And Dean highly doubted Amara would let herself be killed out of revenge. 

But in this moment, frozen in place and unable to move, Dean knew with 1000% certainty that God would die, and he'd be the one to land the killing blow. 

Dean Winchester would kill God.


End file.
